Armageddon

Five hardy souls (myself, Bell, Hey, Knowles, Rugeroni) turned out last night to fight a battle of nuclear superpowers in order to prevent Armageddon…

First was a 1/2 pitch sprint to determine teams, with positions 1,3,5 and 2,4 forming the teams as follows:

North Korea – Bell, Knowles, me
Rest of world – Jono, Ruge

The concept was that there are 6 missile types in North Korea’s arsenal, each with different ranges. The session was split into 6 battles reflecting the different ranges and potential opponents based on the range of each missile.

There were three elements to each battle:

1) the journey of the missile – a sprint relay carrying each teams warhead (rugby ball/American football) – winning team gets 1ft closer to target per second they beat losers

2) the accuracy of the missile – non-runners to perform exercise while waiting for teammate to return, with cumulative total of reps for team used to determine distance from target – winning team gets 1ft closer to target for every extra rep they do above losers total

3) the strike – one kick of ball per team member at hitting the target (large tv box), at distance of 100ft minus bonuses given from element 1&2 above.

The battles planned out as follows:

Battle 1 – Scud missile (range: 180miles) – opponent: South Korea – no nuclear capability

Sprint: 18yd box and back
Exercise: Burpees
Result: One direct hit from South Korea, Pyongyang is decimated, but no nuclear warheads were deployed so North Korea lives to fight another day

Battle 2 – KN-11 missile (range: 600miles) – opponent: Japan – no nuclear capability

Sprint: half-way line and back
Exercise: California pop-ups
Result: No hits

Battle 3 – Nodong missile (range: 800miles) – opponent: Russia – 7000 warheads

Sprint: pitch length and back
Exercise: plank builders
Result: One direct hit from North Korea with a nuclear warhead. Moscow is wiped off the face of the earth!

Battle 4 – Musudam missile (range: 2,200miles) – opponent: India – 120 warheads

Sprint: one lap of pitch
Exercise: jumping squats
Result: no hits

Battle 5 – KN-14 missile (range: 6200miles) – opponent: US (Alaska/hawaii) – 6800 warheads

Sprint: two laps of pitch
Exercise: press-ups
Result: no hits

Battle 6 – KN-08 missile (range: 7200miles) – opponent: UK – 215 warheads

Sprint: 2.5 laps of pitch
Exercise: sit-ups
Result: no hits

So, in the end, it was a score draw, with Pyongyang and Moscow taking the brunt of the punishment. Quite a satisfying result!